Date Night Conversation

Paul and I went out on a whim last night for a long-overdue date. In typical fashion, he asked me to bring a coupon. This time it was for a free appetizer to TGI Friday's. I obliged with a smile. If ever we do a "Paul Zubrowski Roast," his closest family members will tell all about his penny-pinching ways, from standing behind a Snapple truck for two hours in the blazing Baltimore heat for a free T-shirt, to sending half the family to the drive-thru with one coupon and the other half into the same fast food joint to use another coupon.

So conservative is he that this whole idea of redecorating the half-bath in some "theme" is making him see dollar signs. "Just paint and put up some new towels," he says,
"and maybe a picture. What more do you need? It's a bathroom for crying out loud."

"Anyone can just paint and hang up towels. That's boring. I use that bathroom all the time. I'd like a bit of whimsy, some entertainment, to give people something neat to look at while they're in there."

"That how people end up with hemorroids. Sitting too long. Get in, get out, that's the way to avoid hemorrhoids."

So then he tells me about the management job they're creating for him at work. He's the only one who specializes in this line of work at his office, but they are making him interview for it. Crazy, huh?

Next we talk about the graduation party. "What theme should we go with?" I ask.

(Here we go again, his eyes say. I just about choke on my shrimp.)

"You gotta have a theme," I assure him. "Should we do Italian, Mexican, American?"

"How about Graduation?" he asks.

"Hmm, that could work," I agree. "How about an All-American Graduation theme? He loves American Eagle clothes, I just planted flowers in patriotic colors, and I could pick up cheap leftover Memorial Day party stuff."

"Mm-hh," he says, taking a swig of his raspberry iced tea. (His eyebrows have formed a delightful raised position, as if I'm finally speaking his language.)

"We're inviting a LOT of people, honey" I remind him (or tell him for the first time, we're not sure). "Should we ask people to bring food or do it all ourselves?"

"Catered," he says, facetiously.

"You suggest a caterer but you just want to paint the bathroom and hang up new pictures without a theme?"